OVERALL
The basic idea comes through in both videos, that life has not turned out the way this person planned when they were a little girl, and that they are disappointed in themselves as adults.
From a narrative perspective, the title seems ironic. Where, in this video, are all the other people? :D (Seriously, though, there's not even a little boy even though there's a male lead in the vocals.)
The cemetery shots give me the confusion.
I think more risks could be taken with purposeful attention to color, whether as a motif or a storytelling device for particular shots. For example, the memory shots could all have a sepia mask. This is a classic convention for memory sequences, so feel free to subvert.
Think about what the song is trying to communicate, then watch your video with the sound off and ask yourself if the message still comes through
An additional 'OVERALL' for the boys:
The basic elements of a music video seem in place, to me. Still, most individual shots are held for far too long. This can have the effect of slowing down the pace and relaxing the viewer, but in this case, it feels like you're trying to stretch it out like almost no attention was paid to planning visual storytelling of the song's message. That feeling becomes a certainty as time goes on.
Break up the monotony by getting different angles of the same shot. It (Easier if filming with two cameras simultaneously, but otherwise just means you have to get the talent doing the same thing again while you record from your new position.
HUNTER - 6/15
The After Effects blurring shadow of the male lead at approximately 1m22s was very cool.
Memory shots handled well with the old-school video camera feel. The changing date & time codes were also a cool touch in order to give the idea that there are many treasured childhood memories in this person's life.
The timestamps and dates change quite randomly, though. I know we almost never remember events in the order of their occurrence, but that's in our heads; when we watch a memory sequence on an actual video, random time jumps only feel random. (Maybe get rid of 2020 one, too. The date jumps from 2002 to 2020, and the kid still looks that small after 18 years???)
The song title only shows up at the end. Why?
The most attention was paid to the memory sequences' "video camera" feel, and to the moving image blur of the male vocal at 1m22s. Unfortunately, only the video camera effect adds to the task, while the moving blur seems there for the sake of being there. Cool effects are cool, yet cool effects were not the task. The task was storytelling. Did you do that? No.
My response:
The parts in the feedback I have highlighted are the things I would like to change or add to the music video. For example, I will probable decide to get rid of the cemetery shots as it seems to confuse some of the viewers. I am thinking of adding a sepia masl to the memory scenes as it could add something to these scenes and get the common convention of memory scenes through to the viewer. I have also had a few people talk about and tell me that some of the clips are there for too long, so I will incorporate and add more shots to speed these up a bit which could engage and keep the audience/ viewer interested for longer. I did not realize I had put some of the time codes as 2020 which is easy for me to switch back to 2002. The final thing I am thinking of changing is the title, I will probably add an after effect to it and possibly put it in the beginning instead.
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